Nothing But Rants
Telling you why things suck since 2012. A Cliff Reinitz blog.

The Catholic Church and Birth Control

So it happens that I have exactly one political principle.  It’s easy to understand, and simple to apply.  And you’re going to read it now.  Here it is:

“If you think you should be able to force someone to act like you want, you’re a dick and you should lose.”

Don’t ask me what you should lose.  You already know.

The amazing thing is how many political situations there are where this one principle is all you need to reach the right answer.  Let me illustrate by talking about the recent controversy involving birth control and the Catholic Church.

The controversy is over whether Catholic institutions (not churches themselves, but all other businesses and services the Catholic Church owns and operates, like hospitals and universities) should be exempt from ObamaCare’s regulations mandating the provision of birth control as part of health insurance coverage.  So, as far as I understand it, if you’re an employee working at one of these institutions, you can’t get contraceptives covered by your HMO now but you would be able to under ObamaCare.  And a Catholic hospital is free now to deny you birth control pills, but soon they won’t be able to.  I’ve heard some people say that it’s just one of these, and some say it’s both.  Doesn’t matter either way.  The principle still reaches the same answer.

If you’re trying to ban birth control from being sold or provided everywhere, then you’re trying to force people to act a certain way — the way you want them to.  So you’re a dick and you should lose.

But that’s not what the Catholic Church is trying to do.  All they’re defending is their right not to provide birth control in their places.  They think birth control is morally wrong.  Whether or not it is morally wrong is beside the point; they think it is and they don’t want to provide it.  And if you think it’s okay for the government to force them to cross up their own faith for whatever reason, then you’re a dick and you should lose.

Seriously, I can’t even believe this is a question.

I’ve heard some people say that the Catholic Church should get with the times, because they’re outdated.  So what if they are?  If I want to wear nothing but Ren Faire clothing (unlikely, if you read my post this morning), then who the hell are you to tell me not to?  Do you want to force the Amish to provide satellite TV services in their communities too?  Yeah, I wouldn’t live like the Amish either.  I think it’s kind of silly.  But it’s not my business.  They can live however the hell they wanna live.  And if they get happygasms from driving buggies and farming like it’s 1699, then more power to ’em.

I’ve heard some people say that a lot of Catholics don’t obey their own church’s teachings on birth control.  Well, what does that have to do with anything?  People are hypocrites.  There are a lot of churches that officially disapprove of pornography, too, and I’m sure their congregations are just full of people jacking off to Sasha Grey.  Maybe you think the church should be providing copies of Hustler at the front doors, too.

And spare me the talk about “the rights of the woman” or “patient autonomy” or anything like that.  That line, like the rest of these lines, is just a nice-sounding code hiding a nasty attitude.  People who say that don’t seem to care about anyone else’s rights or autonomy.  Otherwise, they wouldn’t be pushing for those rights and that autonomy to be compromised so they can have more “freedom.”  You’re not defending freedom if you want someone else’s to be taken away.  In fact, you don’t give a shit about freedom; you just want what you want, when and how you want it.  And damn anyone who stands in your way.

There are other arguments, but I’m not going to deal with them.  None of them is any better.  Look, if you want to buy a book on tantric sex, you should be able to do that.  But if I run a Christian bookstore and I don’t want to stock a book on tantric sex, I don’t think it matters one goddamn bit that I’m the only bookstore in town.  Drive to another town.  Buy it from Amazon.  Start your own competing secular bookstore.  “Ye Olde Tantric Sex Book Shoppe.”  But where the hell would you get off saying I should be forced to put it on my shelves for you, or special-order it for you?

Bottom line:  if you think the Catholic Church should be legally forced to provide birth control or contraceptives to the patients in its hospitals, or that it should be forced to offer its employees birth control and contraceptives as part of their health care coverage, you want to force someone else to act the way you want them to.

So you’re a dick.  And you should lose.


2 Responses to “The Catholic Church and Birth Control”

  1. I put a similar take on my blog,

    But I went on to point out that the catholic church brought this on itself by advocating in favor of Obamacare.

    • It’s always kinda funny to watch someone get screwed by something they wanted, I grant you that. But that doesn’t make it any less wrong for the Catholic Church to be subjected to governmental tyranny. The problems with ObamaCare (or, for that matter, RomneyCare) should be blatantly obvious to anyone who gives a damn about their own freedom, even if they don’t much care for anybody else’s. Mandating that people buy something because you think it’s a good idea for them to have it, or because you think they should take “responsibility,” or for any other reason, is just wrong. On that, at least, I’m glad someone agrees with me.

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